Monday, November 2, 2009

"We're Getting a New Brother From China" - kids update

I'm hearing it more and more these days: "We're getting a new brother from China." When Julia shows his photo she says, "This is my brother in China."

As I watch their fears melt into acceptance and even excitement, I'm learning a thing or two about being a parent. One, we shouldn't "ask" the children for "permission" as we make major family decisions. "Do you want to adopt a brother from China," is the wrong question. They are still children. They lack the wisdom and life experience to make grown-up decisions. The burden for making decisions and living with the consequences belongs to me and Mike -- not our kids.

On the other hand, as we make decisions that affect them, we need to actively listen to their concerns.  Katherine worries that she won't be able to communicate with him.  Julia is afraid that another child means we'll need to buy a bigger house and move. She loves our house. It's the only home she's ever known.  Nathan worries about sharing his room and that we'll never have enough money for "extras" anymore. "Now if we want to go to Disney, we'll have to buy six tickets instead of five."

Their concerns are valid. Lots of little conversations are a big part of getting us all ready to welcome Wenxin into our family.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, sweet Dana...what a journey! I can understand your fears and the fears of your children, the unknown is always a little scary! I loved catching up with your story, I hope you continue to blog once you have your little Wen Xin in your home. Writing can be very therapeutic! XOXO


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