Panic!

This will be quick because Wenxin and I are headed out the door this morning to meet with the certified teacher who is reviewing his homeschool portfolio for this past school year.

Our state requires a yearly evaluation of all homeschooled students, and they give you several options for how to do it. Julia and Katherine took a nationally normed standardized test. For Wenxin, that would have been too stressful and since he's a second language learner, it wouldn't have truly reflected his progress. For him, I went the "portfolio reviewed by a certified teacher" route.

Since she needs to sign a statement saying he's making progress, I decided to carry along his portfolio from last year -- to show how far he's come.

When I went to get it from the homeschool closet where I expected it to be, all I found was his work from the second half of last year. His portfolio from the first semester was gone. The longer I searched, the more desperate I felt.

Because you see, this was in that portfolio. . .

The first piece of art Wenxin made in America.

Our first day home, he painted this out on our  back porch.

See his name in Chinese characters.  

And this. . .

A few days later he drew our family.  It melted my heart.

And who could forget this. . .

The tool I created to teach Wenxin how we act in our family.  

For three hours yesterday, I thought they were lost for good.  

And I grieved.

Because I don't have many mementos from Wenxin's childhood.

No baby footprints.

No lock of hair from his first haircut.

No handmade Mother's Day gifts from kindergarten.

Crazy thing is I'm not normally sentimental.  I throw away a lot of

stuff that most moms would keep.  

But when you have absolutely nothing . . .

It felt like a loss.

I prayed.  Mike prayed.  The kids prayed.

And I found it.

"Mommy, does this mean you're not going to cry now?"

This post shared at imperfect prose on thursdays.