Fourth Grade Photo - Swoon!

What a beautiful child! This photo makes me swoon.

Yesterday, I went for a little walk with Wenxin and snapped some photos to commemorate his fourth grade year -- my version of school pics for my homeschooled kids.

Once  again, this adoptive momma had to pause, peek back over her shoulder, and savor the moment. Look how far we've come!

Gone are the days of Wenxin dodging the paparazzi, ducking out of family photos, and daring me to see if I could really get a Christmas card of all of us. 

New adoptive mommas, those first years are hard! But compassionately parenting, with connection as the goal, eventually bears sweet fruit. Looking back, I can even see how learning to parent Wenxin has made me a better parent to all my kids. Parenting with connection isn't just for adopted kids.

This morning I read a beautiful narrative of what parenting with connection looks like in real life. In Walking Through a Re-Do, this momma gives a blow by blow description of how she handled things when her daughter got frustrated during homeschool and threw a book, notebook, and pencil to the floor before fleeing the room in anger.

This momma didn't excuse the behavior. Far from it. But she was mindful of her child's background, and responded with compassion, keeping connection as her goal while correcting the behavior. The results were beautiful.

My parenting is far from perfect, and I blow it more times than I'd like to admit. But this is what I'm aiming for. I hope you enjoy, Walking Through a Re-do, as much as I did.

Sharing today at The Long Road to China and WFMW.

Day 31: Look How Far We've Come

If you've been reading this blog for very long, you probably know the story. But as we come to the end of this series, it seems appropriate to tell it again.

There I am.  Limping up the Great Wall of China. Living my dream.  

Arriving at the Great Wall that day, our guide said, "There are two ways up. One is steeper, but the view is better." Without a pause, both Mike and I said, "We'll take the hard way."

At that point our guide smiled and said, "I'll be waiting for you, right here at the bottom. Take as long as you like." She, obviously, had been there before.

Off we went. . .with our seven year old, newly adopted son. . . the little wild man who didn't speak English.

Off we went. Up a very steep, never ending staircase.

Off we went -- and then, off they went as Mike and Wenxin quickly left me behind. I knew it would be hard, but this was ridiculous. I couldn't breathe. My legs wanted to stop working. Eventually, I began taking sit-down breaks; I took one about every twenty steps.

Wenxin kept calling for me. He was fine -- fine enough to keep running up and then back down to check on me and then back up again. A leathery old Chinese man chuckled and explained in Chinese, "Mama lei le." Translation: "Mama's tired." Then, Wenxin snapped the best photo of the day -- me --putting one foot in front of the other, almost slain by the Great Wall of China.

In the end, I didn't die, and I got a photo that will make me smile for the rest of my life. It was totally worth it.

Looking at that photo again today, I noticed something I hadn't seen before. Even though, I didn't get as far as I wanted, and even though I was literally dragging my aching body up each step at that point, look how far I'd come. We started out way down there at the bottom. Look how far we'd come.

When I think about our family's journey it's a lot like that trek up the Great Wall. Mike and I are quick to say, "We'll take the hard way," when we think it's worth it. Then we end up doing crazy things like homeschooling or adopting an older child, even though we're getting older ourselves.

Today, I reminded myself, to peek back over my shoulder and look how far we've come.

The hard way's usually worth it -- if it doesn't kill you.

It's been an honor to have so many new readers join me for this series. I'm looking forward to the day when you look over your own shoulder and are surprised at how far you've come. Remember, I'm cheering for you!

To read the whole series, start here!

Day 23: A Movie I Recommend

TRAILER: Somewhere Between - A Feature Documentary from Linda Knowlton on Vimeo.

This feature length documentary is available on streaming Netflix or at Amazon.

While not specifically about older child adoption, this film paints a picture of what it's like to grow up as an international adoptee, always living somewhere between your birth culture and your adopted culture. It gives a rare glimpse of international adoption through the adoptee's eyes.

Day 15: Packing with Attachment in Mind

We sat, a little damp and disheveled, in the lobby of the Beijing Children's Welfare Institute. Minutes earlier, when the congested morning traffic threatened to make us late, our guide had suggested we'd make better time by getting out of the van and walking.  So much for looking good for my new son.  We slogged through puddles in a light drizzle, finally arriving at the orphanage.  I was already tired and jet-lagged.  Now I had wet hair.

For months, I'd pictured this moment time and time again.  Rain had never been part of the picture.

We signed some documents that we couldn't read and stamped our thumbprints in red on each one.  Just as we started to record a little intro to our adoption day video, we heard footsteps.

"He's coming," our guide said.

And then it happened.  A woman we never saw said, "Say Mama and Baba," as she pushed a little boy in brand new pink sneakers through the door.

"Mama. . . Baba. . ."  And we were a family.

It's a weird way to become a family.  Honestly, it is.  I think all three of us were scared.

How do complete strangers become a family?

How do you bond with a child who is not a baby?

How do you get past the language barrier?

Your agency will give you a packing list for your adoption trip.  You can find additional lists online.  But think about this.  What are you putting in your suitcase to help you build a strong attachment with your new child?  It's possible to pack with attachment in mind.

Here are nine things I'm glad we took to China.

1. Bubble Bath - I worried about bath time.  Orphanage kids probably haven't had a daily bath.  Some may have never bathed in a tub.  Would he be scared to take a bath once he was alone with us?  Wenxin, however, was quickly enthralled by a bathtub full of bubbles.  This nightly ritual was fun and helped him relax before bedtime.  FYI - both hotels we stayed at in China provided complimentary bubble bath, but I'd take it again, just in case.

2.  Lavender baby lotion - After his bath we continued the bedtime ritual with lavender baby lotion.  He'd sit on the bed in just his pajama bottoms while I rubbed him down with sweet smelling lotion.  This was established as a "Mommy" job -- important because initially, he bonded more quickly to Mike than me.  This bedtime ritual gave me an excuse to touch him in a safe non-threatening way.  It was relaxing and helped him settle down before bed.

3.  Fun snacks like Teddy Grahams -  Our new kids need to know we won't let them go hungry, so carrying a few snacks at all times is a good idea.  Fun snacks are even better.  You don't have to go overboard packing food.  They have snacks in China, and a trip to the grocery store to let your new child pick out some favorites could be a special treat.  But I'd definitely pack a handful of fun snacks from home to get started.

4.  A digital camera for him to use -  This one was a fluke.  We packed an old digital camera for Mike to use, so we'd both be able to snap photos.  Wenxin, however, quickly claimed the camera as his own, and it turned out to be a great thing.  He was able to document his own trip. He took pride in his photos.  And it provided lots of opportunities for his new parents to clown around in front of the camera.  In those first days, every chance we have to lighten up the situation and play around together is a big plus.

5.  Bubble gum- Lisa at One Thankful Mom shared that chewing gum has a calming effect on traumatized kids.  And I'd add that blowing bubbles is great silly fun.  I'll never forget sitting with droves of new adoptive families in the American Consulate in Guangzhou, waiting for the swearing in ceremony.  As Wenxin sat on my lap facing me, we crammed our mouths full of bubble gum and had a bubble blowing contest.  It was a long wait for a room full of restless kids, but Wenxin and I were having a blast.  Play, laughter, eye contact -- all great attachment builders -- and all it took was a little Double Bubble.

6.  Blow-up beach ball and pop-up hamper - Inexpensive pop-up hampers like this one have always been life savers for me while travelling with kids.  Pop-up hampers keep the hotel room neat.  Wenxin and Mike, however, soon discovered that pop-up hampers are also great for shooting baskets once you dump out all the clothes.  Add a blow-up beach ball from the Dollar Store for fun that won't put you over budget or over your luggage weight allowance.  

7.  Crayons/Markers/Pencils and sketch pad - Drawing and coloring together is a great way to bond.  Wenxin is all boy and at first wanted nothing to do with the crayons and markers we brought him.  But one morning after breakfast, Mike and I sat down in the floor of our hotel room and began coloring together.  Before long, Wenxin joined us.  Drawing together is something we did a lot those first weeks we were home.

8.  A soft blanket - Every kid needs their own blanket, don't you think?  We actually sent this blanket to Wenxin in a care package before we traveled to China.  The nannies showed it to him and then put it away for safekeeping until we arrived.  Orphanage kids don't have much in the way of personal property, so it was special to be able to wrap him in his own super-soft blanket each night.  He sleeps with it to this day.

Yes, that's Mike crashed in the background.

9.  A crossbody purse - I don't really like backpacks for me --they're hot and cumbersome -- so a cute, crossbody purse was perfect for sightseeing trips and "official" appointments.  A crossbody purse left both hands free so I could focus on Wenxin instead of focusing on my purse.

Attachment: It's a Parent Thing, Too

For me, love and attachment grow as I get to know each of my kids and invest in their lives.

A lot has been written on promoting attachment in adopted kids, and as a result, terms like reactive attachment disorder strike fear in the hearts of prospective adoptive parents. What if we adopt a kid who isn't able to attach?

But attachment is a two-way street. What about the mom who struggles to attach to her new child? Who is writing books for her? How can she promote attachment in her own heart?

I'm not a big believer in love at first sight parenting -- at least not across the board. Maybe that happens with some people, but it's never happened for me, not even with my biological kids.

Each time I gave birth, I loved my babies right away, but it was more of an act of the will kind of love. I didn't really know them yet. And my emotions -- well, they were all over the place. When I saw each of my biological kids for the first time in the birthing room I felt exhausted, spent, tired, proud, happy, scared, uncertain, protective, nervous . . . the list goes on and on. Yes, I loved them. . . but not the same way I'd love them in the days to come.

A few weeks later, looking back at that first meeting, I would've sworn that I had hardly loved them at all. Those feelings during my first moments as a mom couldn't even compare to the fierce, protective love I now felt for my baby. In every interaction, my tone of voice, my touch, my eye contact now revealed a deep emotional attachment to my child.

What caused me to attach during those first weeks? Postpartum hormones? Maybe. Breastfeeding? Definitely helpful, but I think there's something more.

It's just a guess, but I believe the biggest thing that bound my heart to my children  was the simple act of taking care of them. As I willingly invested my time and energy into caring for my new babies -- every single exhausting sleep-deprived day -- my heart for them grew.

I say willingly because the willing part is important. Resenting the neediness of a newborn child is an attachment killer. Same for placing an overemphasis on schedules and sleeping through the night. Lastly, feeling unsuccessful as a mom can also build a wall. Whether it's a hard-to-soothe baby or difficulty with breastfeeding, it's challenging to attach to someone who makes you feel like a failure at every turn.

And then, what happens when adoption is part of the mix? And what if the adopted child isn't a baby anymore?

While a mother's attachment process in an older child adoption may look different than the attachment process with her biological infant, I'm guessing it really works in much the same way.

One rainy morning in September 2010, someone shoved Wenxin into the reception room of the Beijing Children's Welfare Institute with instructions to greet us with the words, "Mama. . . Baba."

At that point, I loved the idea of him. I'd fallen in love with his photo a year before. And I was committed to love him as an act of my will. But in all honesty, he was a little seven-year-old stranger who didn't speak my language. I didn't know him yet. And my emotions -- you guessed it. They were all over the place. I was in a new culture, jet-lagged and rain-soaked and elated and more than a tad scared -- all at the same time. I had a long way to go in attaching to my new son.

Then there was Wenxin. He was wild and unpredictable. And while he seemed to like Mike, he didn't particularly care for me.

So I did what I'd learned to do with all my other babies over the years. I took care of him. Every day I piled his plate high with yummy food from the hotel buffet. I prepared bathtubs that towered with mountains of bubbles. I rubbed sweet smelling lavender lotion into his skin each night before bed.

And in the weeks to come, when I felt like a failure -- when he fell to the floor and raged, or was blatantly disobedient, or looked me in the eye and said, "You're not my real mother" -- I turned to other adoptive moms who viewed his behavior with compassion and encouraged me to keep moving toward him instead of retreating into self protection.

Somewhere along the way, love grew. Not just the act of my will kind of love. An intense, deep, fiercely protective, mama bear kind of love. As I invested my heart into parenting him and advocating for him, attachment happened. Not just in his heart, but in my heart as well.

Attachment. It's a parent thing, too.

Melissa Faye Greene has written a touching story of her attachment process with one of her adopted sons called, "Do I Love Him Yet?"

Have you ever thought about your own attachment process as a mom -- adoptive or bio? What things were attachment builders for you?

Shared at Growing Slower's Tuesday Baby Link-up, Imperfect Prose, and WFMW.

My Favorite Posts Revisited: We Love Bubbles!

Here's a sweet memory from back in 2010, when we'd only been Wenxin's parents a few days.

Bubble bath is working for us! Every night before our guide leaves, Wenxin asks her to find out if Mama has bubbles for his bath tonight. For this kid, bubble bath makes everything better.

It's our last night in Beijing. What a full day. We left the room at 9:30 am and didn't get back until 8:30 pm. We started out by picking up Wenxin's Chinese passport at the police station. Then we spent about 5 hours at a huge science and technology museum. For Orlando folks, think about five times larger than the Orlando Science Center. Then we went to a Chinese acrobatics show. It was kind of cheesy but fun. Dinner was McDonalds. A walk around town and we were back home -- exhausted.

Mike points out to me that a couple of things happen to my speech in Asia. First, he says I get my Asian English voice. It kind of sounds like I'm trying to speak English with an Asian accent, and it kind of annoys him. Second, the longer I'm here, the more broken my English becomes. Here's a real conversation from today.

Dana: "Do you have receipt?"

Mike: " Yes, I have the receipt."

Later,

Mike: "I'm feeling sick."

Dana: "I have the Pepto Bismol."

Holiday Traditions Celebrating Our Adopted Kids

What to do about the Christmas ornaments? Believe it or not, that question weighed on my mind back in 2010 as we prepared to travel to China.

When my first child was born in 1999, my mom started a Christmas tradition. Each year, she gives each grandchild a personalized engraved pewter ornament.  Eventually, I even bought a small tree especially for the children's ornaments. They have a lot of fun each year when we pull out their individual collections and let them decorate their tree. The older the child, the more ornaments they have.

Anticipating 7 1/2 year old Wenxin's first Christmas in our family, I wanted him to have an ornament collection as well. 

Deep inside, I wished my mom would think about catching him up and volunteer to buy him an ornament for each Christmas of his life. I wanted her to get it. But intellectually, I knew I was being unrealistic. For one thing, it would be very expensive.  And I knew she wouldn't see the point. For all the other kids, she started buying ornaments when they entered our family. Why should she buy Wenxin ornaments for all the years he wasn't here? I decided this was a need for me,as his mom, to meet.

But was it really even a need? I wasn't sure, however some gut instinct told me that this family tradition had the potential to make Wenxin feel like an outsider.

Family traditions are just like family stories. They're one of the things that separates the insiders from the outsiders. I had this nagging feeling that Wenxin needed a collection of ornaments that celebrated his life to feel a part of our family tradition.

Christmas 2010, Grammy gave Wenxin his first personalized ornament from her. It was just like the one that Nathan, Julia, and Katherine received that year, and it was very special. I also bought two beautiful picture frame ornaments and inserted a couple of my favorite photos of Wenxin, bringing his collection to three. Then, on the day we decorated the children's tree, I brought out  a set of beautiful cloisonne ornaments from our trip to China and gave them to Wenxin. Just like my other kids have ornaments from Grammy that celebrate each year of their lives, Wenxin has a beautiful set of ornaments that celebrate his life in the country of his birth. He couldn't be prouder.

Linking up at WMFW.

Nine Things I'm Glad We Took to China

We sat, a little damp and disheveled, in the lobby of the Beijing Children's Welfare Institute. Minutes earlier, when the congested morning traffic threatened to make us late, our guide had suggested we'd make better time by getting out of the van and walking.  So much for looking good for my new son.  We slogged through puddles in a light drizzle, finally arriving at the orphanage.  I was already tired and jet-lagged.  Now I had wet hair.

For months, I'd pictured this moment time and time again.  Rain had never been part of the picture.

We signed some documents that we couldn't read and stamped our thumbprints in red on each one.  Just as we started to record a little intro to our adoption day video, we heard footsteps.

"He's coming," our guide said.

And then it happened.  A woman we never saw said, "Say Mama and Baba," as she pushed a little boy in brand new pink sneakers through the door.

"Mama. . . Baba. . ."  And we were a family.

It's a weird way to become a family.  Honestly, it is.  I think all three of us were scared.

How do complete strangers become a family?

How do you bond with a child who is not a baby?

How do you get past the language barrier?

Your agency will give you a packing list for your adoption trip.  You can find additional lists online.  But think about this.  What are you putting in your suitcase to help you build a strong attachment with your new child?  It's possible to pack with attachment in mind.

Here are nine things I'm glad we took to China.

1. Bubble Bath - I worried about bath time.  Orphanage kids probably haven't had a daily bath.  Some may have never bathed in a tub.  Would he be scared to take a bath once he was alone with us?  Wenxin, however, was quickly enthralled by a bathtub full of bubbles.  This nightly ritual was fun and helped him relax before bedtime.  FYI - both hotels we stayed at in China provided complimentary bubble bath, but I'd take it again, just in case.

2.  Lavender baby lotion - After his bath we continued the bedtime ritual with lavender baby lotion.  He'd sit on the bed in just his pajama bottoms while I rubbed him down with sweet smelling lotion.  This was established as a "Mommy" job -- important because initially, he bonded more quickly to Mike than me.  This bedtime ritual gave me an excuse to touch him in a safe non-threatening way.  It was relaxing and helped him settle down before bed.

3.  Fun snacks like Teddy Grahams -  Our new kids need to know we won't let them go hungry, so carrying a few snacks at all times is a good idea.  Fun snacks are even better.  You don't have to go overboard packing food.  They have snacks in China, and a trip to the grocery store to let your new child pick out some favorites could be a special treat.  But I'd definitely pack a handful of fun snacks from home to get started.

4.  A digital camera for him to use -  This one was a fluke.  We packed an old digital camera for Mike to use, so we'd both be able to snap photos.  Wenxin, however, quickly claimed the camera as his own, and it turned out to be a great thing.  He was able to document his own trip. He took pride in his photos.  And it provided lots of opportunities for his new parents to clown around in front of the camera.  In those first days, every chance we have to lighten up the situation and play around together is a big plus.

5.  Bubble gum- Lisa at One Thankful Mom shared that chewing gum has a calming effect on traumatized kids.  And I'd add that blowing bubbles is great silly fun.  I'll never forget sitting with droves of new adoptive families in the American Consulate in Guangzhou, waiting for the swearing in ceremony.  As Wenxin sat on my lap facing me, we crammed our mouths full of bubble gum and had a bubble blowing contest.  It was a long wait for a room full of restless kids, but Wenxin and I were having a blast.  Play, laughter, eye contact -- all great attachment builders -- and all it took was a little Double Bubble.

6.  Blow-up beach ball and pop-up hamper - Inexpensive pop-up hampers like this one have always been life savers for me while travelling with kids.  Pop-up hampers keep the hotel room neat.  Wenxin and Mike, however, soon discovered that pop-up hampers are also great for shooting baskets once you dump out all the clothes.  Add a blow-up beach ball from the Dollar Store for fun that won't put you over budget or over your luggage weight allowance.  

7.  Crayons/Markers/Pencils and sketch pad - Drawing and coloring together is a great way to bond.  Wenxin is all boy and at first wanted nothing to do with the crayons and markers we brought him.  But one morning after breakfast, Mike and I sat down in the floor of our hotel room and began coloring together.  Before long, Wenxin joined us.  Drawing together is something we did a lot those first weeks we were home.

8.  A soft blanket - Every kid needs their own blanket, don't you think?  We actually sent this blanket to Wenxin in a care package before we traveled to China.  The nannies showed it to him and then put it away for safekeeping until we arrived.  Orphanage kids don't have much in the way of personal property, so it was special to be able to wrap him in his own super-soft blanket each night.  He sleeps with it to this day.

Yes, that's Mike crashed in the background.

9.  A crossbody purse - I don't really like backpacks for me --they're hot and cumbersome -- so a cute, crossbody purse was perfect for sightseeing trips and "official" appointments.  A crossbody purse left both hands free so I could focus on Wenxin instead of focusing on my purse.

OK.  This list is definitely not exhaustive.  What "attachment builders" did you pack for your adoption trip?  Adoptive parents please chime in.  Thanks in advance for helping me write this post.  Many times you guys put the best stuff in the comments section.

Do you know a family getting ready to travel?  Use the buttons at the bottom to share this post with them.

Shared at Many Little Blessings.

Watch Out, America: Here I Come!

Fan Wen Xin, aka Joseph Michael Ball, became a U.S. citizen September 18 at U.S. customs and immigration in Washington Dulles Airport.  Keep your eyes on this little guy.  He's gonna go far!

Sunday was Family Day!  We hung out with the grandparents and all wore our Chinese t-shirts.  Wen Xin decided to dodge the paparazzi once more.

Monday was a home school day.  My, aren't we hard core!  No, we're not, but we didn't really have a choice.  We home school as part of The International Community School in Winter Park FL.  We work off their lesson plans and schedule and Julia and Nathan go to school on campus on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  So, there aren't any days off when new brothers come home from China.  And I think the structure may actually be helping Wen Xin.





Airport Photos

Photos courtesy of Karen Smutz and Hallie Mitchell

First Night with all 4 Kids under the Same Roof!

We touched down in Orlando just before midnight - almost 30 minutes early.  Wondering if anyone would be there to meet us yet, we made our way slowly to baggage claim.  But as soon as we exited the gates, 20 of our friends and family were there to meet us with Nathan, Julia and Katherine right out front!

Wen Xin passed out bags of Skittles to his new brothers and sisters and even gave away the bag I bought for him.  He played.  He allowed himself to be photographed.  He smiled and spoke to all his new grandparents.  It was perfect!

I've been thinking about who came.  Three new brothers and sisters and three new grandparents.  A family from our school with two internationally adopted children.  Hallie and Karen, my long- time friends who are both adoptive moms.  I was privileged to be at the airport when their kids came home and they were there for me.  Brings tears to my eyes.  Karen left an event where she was working as a photographer to come over to the airport and photograph Wen Xin's homecoming.  Hallie's whole family - husband, kids, grandma- drove in from St. Augustine and stayed at the airport hotel just to be with us. 

Mike's team from work was there.  Ann, who speaks fluent Mandarin, knelt down and talked with Wen Xin for a while.

Not sure what time we got home - but we let the kids play for a long time.  Nathan and Julia went to bed first.  We forced Katherine and Wen Xin to go to bed at 3:30 a.m.  Mike and I turned in at 4:30 a.m.  At a little after 7, Wen Xin was up --  going strong.  Since I've been writing this, he's successfully woken up the girls.  He shook their bunk beds until they got up.

Favorite quotes from the night:
Nathan - "Laughing is international."
Julia - "This is the best day of my life."
Katherine - "Wen Xin, we don't stand on the furniture.  Bu Yao! (not good)"  and "Sometimes kids know better than parents."  The latter was spoken in objection to being made to go to bed at 3:30 a.m. as opposed to continuing to play with her new brother.

So I'm working off 2 1/2 hours sleep and wondering how I'm going to keep up with this little Asian tornado today.

Signing off from China

In a little over an hour, we'll climb on a van for the airport.  Guangzhou to Beijing; Beijing to Washington D.C.; Washington to Orlando.  We arrive after midnight at 12:20 am on September 19.  We've asked the grandparents to bring our other kids to the airport to welcome Wen Xin home.  Any friends who can stay up that late are welcome to meet us as well.

Wonder what that's going to be like?  He'll be exhausted from 20 plus hours on a plane.  And he'll be in a new place where no one is speaking Chinese anymore.  I hope friends and family will cut him some slack if he's less than friendly.  I don't expect he'll run up and give everyone a hug.  Would be nice, but. .. not very likely. 

We're ready.  This time in China has been so good.  I absolutely love Asia!  But now it's time to go.

Wen Xin seems really really happy.  I'm certain he likes us.  He still doesn't do "first time obedience," - or 40th time obedience for that matter.  But we'll work on that when we get home.

We are feeling like a family.

So. . . See you in Orlando!

Red Couch Photos

It's a tradition at the White Swan Hotel for adopted kids to get their photos taken on a red sofa in the lobby.  I wasn't even going to try.  Wen Xin seems a little old to get all dressed up in a prissy traditional Chinese outfit.  And you know how he feels about being photographed.

But I caved.

And I'm really glad I did.

We bribed him with Coke.

I think it's also tradition for the whole family to do a portrait together on the red sofa, but that would be really pushing it.

We had the shop-owner who sold us the outfit convince Wen Xin it was really cool.

Did I mention that the White Swan is a really nice hotel?  Here are a few lobby photos.

Wonder if Wen Xin thinks this is where we live all the time?



Better Day for the Paparazzi

                            

We went to the Guangzhou Zoo.

Wen Xin fed the giraffes.

We went shopping with Ann from Red Thread China.  Ann's a tiny woman who walks faster than anyone I've ever met.  And she's an amazing shopping guide.  At the jade and pearl markets, she helped us buy beautiful things wholesale:  75-80% off the prices in local shops.  I highly recommend her. 

                                            

In the evening, we took a dinner cruise down the Pearl River.  It was Wen Xin's first time on a boat.

The menu included duck feet.

One of my men ate them as a joke and one of my men enjoyed every bite!

And of course, the day wouldn't be complete without the nightly photo in the bubble bath.